Welcome back to the grind

Ahhhhh, the sweet smell of returning to work after the holidays... I know I'm not alone in the fact that the holidays somehow felt harder this year. I was quite blue. I tried to write a few times here, but it all came out sounding whiny and childish. I did promise to share the good, … Continue reading Welcome back to the grind →

Here we go again

Hello friends! I don't think I've mentioned it here yet that I got into grad school at Cal Baptist! I'm so excited, but I'm also a little scared if I'm being honest. I keep remembering how hard it was to go back and get my bachelor's degree. I struggled hard. If any readers were here … Continue reading Here we go again →

The truth is…

I have been fairly embarrassed to write in this blog after announcing that I had started my own freelance marketing business. Partly I was just busy, but a large part of it was being, sort of, ashamed that I had given up on my dream so quickly and taken a job I never wanted to … Continue reading The truth is… →

Finally an Update!

Hey friends! I'm finally taking the time to write again. So much has happened and it wasn't that I didn't want to be transparent, it was just that living it day in and day out took all of my energy. I can't remember where I was when I wrote last, but I'm pretty sure it … Continue reading Finally an Update! →

Anxiety

Oh what an unwelcome companion is anxiety. I have been having panic attacks again, which are no fun! Mostly related to school, but also related to the fact that I am changing medications yet again. While the Invega has been helping some with getting certain aspects of my mania under control such as my spending, … Continue reading Anxiety →

Been a while

Wow, friends, it has certainly been a while. The last time I checked in with everyone on here was May. I'm sorry for the disconnection. It has been a summer I've spent in recovery, of a sort. Recovery from my failures, from my anxiety (though that's not even close to gone), from my over-extension of … Continue reading Been a while →

A Good Day

So far, today is a good day! I woke up a few minutes before my alarm ready to face the day in a pleasant mood. Yesterday, not so much. I was in a lot of pain and super exhausted. With so much going on it is hard to decide what is causing what, and wondering … Continue reading A Good Day →

A New Hope

A beautiful double rainbow at the end of a huge thunderstorm that just popped up this afternoon Isn't it appropriate this Easter weekend that I have found some hope. The new medication I'm taking seems to be working. So far, so good. I'm hopeful that I'll now be able to change the behaviors in my … Continue reading A New Hope →

Trying something new

I found myself struggling, HARD. I'm struggling with my increased symptoms. I'm struggling with shame over struggling, but also for not recognizing the fact that I've been struggling for so long. The fact that I have nothing to be ashamed of is hard to hold onto. Like, to the point where I feel ashamed for feeling ashamed. How's that for nuts?! I know it doesn't make sense, but I feel it anyway.