A Good Day

So far, today is a good day! I woke up a few minutes before my alarm ready to face the day in a pleasant mood. Yesterday, not so much. I was in a lot of pain and super exhausted. With so much going on it is hard to decide what is causing what, and wondering … Continue reading A Good Day →

Productive

One of the things I don't like about having bipolar disorder is that it is hard to trust what's going on around me. Sometimes that means that I don't know if I'm being productive because I'm doing well/my medication is working, or if I'm productive because I am manic. I've been productive all morning, scheduling … Continue reading Productive →

A New Hope

A beautiful double rainbow at the end of a huge thunderstorm that just popped up this afternoon Isn't it appropriate this Easter weekend that I have found some hope. The new medication I'm taking seems to be working. So far, so good. I'm hopeful that I'll now be able to change the behaviors in my … Continue reading A New Hope →

Trying something new

I found myself struggling, HARD. I'm struggling with my increased symptoms. I'm struggling with shame over struggling, but also for not recognizing the fact that I've been struggling for so long. The fact that I have nothing to be ashamed of is hard to hold onto. Like, to the point where I feel ashamed for feeling ashamed. How's that for nuts?! I know it doesn't make sense, but I feel it anyway.

Dying (but not really)

Just wanted to touch base with you all because I would share the ugly, too. I might fail another class or 2. I know I feel that way all the time, but I have a little more than a week to finish 5 weeks of work in one class, 4 weeks of work to do … Continue reading Dying (but not really) →

Yikes!

Oh friends, it has been a rough couple of weeks. I'm not going to share some of the details since I don't want to violate the privacy of the people involved, but I will tell you that I have faced things in the last 2 weeks that I've never faced before. People I care about … Continue reading Yikes! →

Here we are again

Having learned nothing except maybe that I like the adrenaline rush that comes with being up against the wire, or that I lack self-discipline, or that I feel driven to self-sabotage (most likely all three). I am not going to get all my assignments done on time for this week. I spent the day playing … Continue reading Here we are again →

Life is not a competition

How many people are like me? I've always been competitive. Not driven to achieve or by achievement, but to be the best just to be better than you at something. Why? Because it makes me feel special. Being better than you at something, anything, gives me perceived value- not true value -but it makes me … Continue reading Life is not a competition →

School

I promised to share to everyday moments, even the mundane. Spoiler alert, I guess. 🤷‍♀️ School started up for me again this week, and instead of 2 classes in 8 weeks, this time I have to take 3 classes to make up a class I failed during the summer. Guys, it is hard. Harder than … Continue reading School →

End of break adventures

Can I just say, I love my husband? Because I do, I really, really do. He does his best to do what he can, when he can, to help me have adventures. He tried to take me up to the mountains yesterday to have some fun in the snow. Our tires, however, even though they … Continue reading End of break adventures →