Been a while

Wow, friends, it has certainly been a while. The last time I checked in with everyone on here was May. I’m sorry for the disconnection. It has been a summer I’ve spent in recovery, of a sort. Recovery from my failures, from my anxiety (though that’s not even close to gone), from my over-extension of myself.
In some ways, it has been a summer of continued failures. My sister and I came to the mutual decision that it was time to find alternative care for her children. That in itself is both a relief and a deep sense of shame to contend with. Fuel for a later post on self-forgiveness maybe? I’m not sure I’m in a good place to write that yet, and I certainly want to make sure to honor my sister and her precious daughters in anything I post. My failures are not their failures.

This summer has had some really good, kind of everyday sort of stuff, too. Just yesterday we returned from our annual camping trip to the coast. I highly recommend camping at Westport Beach RV and Campground just outside the tiny town of Westport, CA. If you like the idea of camping where you can still take a hot shower, then this place is for you! It is absolutely gorgeous, and you can camp in a tent in the campground or on the beach itself, or if you’re lucky enough to have a camper or RV there are lots of sites with hookups! Love the idea, but not the execution of camping? No problem, they have some cabins you can stay in for a little more comfort than your average tent. There’s even a cute cottage at the top of the bluffs that you can rent for the full amenities of home away from home.

Jason and I started going to marriage counseling. We aren’t in trouble or anything, but we figured it would be the best way to head off any trouble that adds up to just everyday junk that comes up in a relationship. It has been amazing. If you want to learn to understand your spouse a bit better without the need to find a ‘bad guy’ in the relationship, I recommend finding a therapist trained in EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy). It is based in attachment theory and has really helped Jason and I to feel more connected to each other. If you’re in Oroville or the surrounding area, drop me an email and I can give you my therapist’s number. I HIGHLY recommend Stephanie!!

I’ve been growing personally and spiritually, so even with some low moments this summer has mostly been amazing on a personal level. The respite from school was much needed. Just like this was never intended to be a blog about mental illness, it was also never intended to be a place to vent about school all the time either. But, alas, here we are. I turned to you all again on here to ask for your prayers and even encouragement. School JUST started and I am already struggling with a deep anxiety. I’m totally living on “Stand in Your Love” by Bethel Music and Josh Baldwin right now. I’ve even learned some of the harmonies, just really trying to internalize the lyrics. “My fear doesn’t stand a chance when I stand in your love”

I will try to keep everyone updated more regularly since I’ll be on my computer more often now. I promise to write about the low points, too. Some things just need a little processing before I feel like I can share them. For now, it’s almost bedtime so I’m going to sign off. Thanks for reading! Feel free to connect with me in the comments or by email. Let me know how I can encourage you, we’re in this together!!

Much Love,
Teri