Productive

One of the things I don’t like about having bipolar disorder is that it is hard to trust what’s going on around me. Sometimes that means that I don’t know if I’m being productive because I’m doing well/my medication is working, or if I’m productive because I am manic. I’ve been productive all morning, scheduling 3 appointments that I’ve needed to call about for weeks. This may not seem like a big deal to some people, but for me who has phone anxiety it is kind of a big deal. That’s a little sad in itself, but nevertheless, it is what it is. I don’t like being in this place again because for the last 4 years or so I really felt like I could finally trust myself.

Originally, this wasn’t meant to be a blog about mental illness, just a blog about my life. Right now, this is my life. I hope it helps people with little experience with bipolar disorder understand me better. I’m not sure why it is easier to write about than talk about (maybe the ability to edit as I write?) but it is and I hope it makes a little sense for people about a disorder that makes no sense.

In other news, this is the last week of my classes before I get 4 months off. I really need the time off to really work on getting back to a place where I am functioning and functionally recovered from this relapse of my illness. I need some rest, and at the same time I need the time to get back to doing the things that I’m passionate about.

There will still be more about my boring, stressful, hopeful, happy, and exciting life, but for the near future I know a lot of my posts will pertain to my bipolar disorder. If you have any questions, comments, or encouragements, drop them below in the comments or email me. I’d love to hear your thoughts, but please be kind.

Much Love,
Teri