Beyond My Limits

Already in 2019, a whole whopping 1 day into the new year, and I’m already at a place beyond my limits. Part of me wants to complain, part of me wants to be told what a good person I am (because we’re being authentic here), part of me wants to give up. The sum of these parts is someone already feeling worn and tired. It feels like such a heavy burden, a weight that I just can’t fathom being able to pick up again in the morning. Because it’s mine. Isn’t it? Mine to carry, mine to worry over, mine to obsess over, mine to over-think, then re-over-think? I mean, this is life, right? All of us just trying to cope with hardship after hardship, tragedy after tragedy, one catastrophe after the next, all until we die?

Wait…really?????

All of the above can be true if we choose it. And let’s all be honest, most of us have chosen to live or feel that way at least once in our lifetime. I spent a lot of years acting like this, even if I didn’t want it to be true. But I have a hope that can’t be denied.

BEYOND MY LIMITS ——>
<——- COMFORT ZONE

They’re like emotional street signs to me. One is to a place that is warm, safe (safe-ish???), and familiar. The other to a place that is dark, scary, and unknown. When I first make a turn onto the road that goes to the end of me, I feel pulled further forward into the unknown in a way that I can’t seem to escape. But I push ahead anyway, mostly complaining…

Anyhow, I entered into a situation that has left me out of my element, unsure of the road ahead, with pot-holes and road closures that come without warning. I want to play the victim, honestly, since that takes the responsibility out of my hands. I mean, if life happens TO me, it’s not my job to do anything about it, right? 🙂 I sometimes wish I could live my life like that. Alas, I am my mother’s daughter… (Thanks, Mom, if you’re reading this).

But, how do I grow if I never push into the unknown? Being beyond my limits is really the best place I could hope to be. I find a lot when I go past the borders of myself. I find things like, my best friend Danielle is amazing. And even her little sister Rachel isn’t so bad 😉 (Thanks for letting me hang out with you guys tonight!!) Danielle gives me permission to do the right thing for me, BECAUSE it’s the right thing for me. I find that I’m capable of doing far more than I ever imagined, partly because I find that I can’t do everything and it’s ok!

It’s also the place where I find God. Where I learn to rely on my faith in His ability to see me through the dark places I’ve never been. This doesn’t mean I walk around like I’m all hopped up on Prozac and caffeine, I still feel the weight of what I’m carrying. It only means that I don’t have to carry the things that aren’t mine because I’m trying to be God. I only have to carry what’s mine (and He even helps me with that!!) Being beyond my limits is really the only place I’ve ever been that has helped me find the place where I belong. That place is ahead of me, not back within my familiar borders. While I hope it never begins to feel mundane, I hope that at some point I get more comfortable with growth. Perhaps even seek the challenge willingly! HA!!

So, really, I guess 2019 is already starting off as a stellar year, beginning with bringing me to a place beyond my limits before the 1st full day of it is even over. I was going to end with ‘shouting’ BRING IT!!! into the electronic universe, but I think I will choose to pursue what comes next. Life in 2019, all I can say is: READY OR NOT, HERE I COME!!!

I’d love to hear some of the things you have found when you’ve been beyond your limits! Drop me a line in the comments, or use my contact form to send an email. Sing out your battle cry into the new year!!